Getting a bare 'hey' on a dating app is frustrating, but it is also extremely common, and it does not have to end the conversation. The sender may be shy, busy, or just bad at openers. Your reply can either mirror their low effort and let the chat die, or give them an easy ramp into a real conversation. The difference is usually one good question.

Replying 'hey' back, or 'hi', just bounces the problem back to them, and the chat usually dies within three exchanges. Instead, answer warmly and immediately add something: a comment on their profile, a light question, or a playful observation. You are not doing all the work; you are giving the conversation one clear direction to go in.

The easiest rescue is a profile detail: a photo location, a hobby in their bio, an unusual prompt answer. A question like 'Okay, I have to ask about the dog in your third photo' is specific, flattering and impossible to answer with one word. If their profile is empty, ask an opinion question instead, like the best pizza place in their city, which anyone can answer.

Give them two good exchanges. If they start asking questions back, sharing details and matching your energy, the lazy opener was just nerves. If they keep replying with one-word answers and never ask anything, believe that pattern: it tells you how the conversation, and possibly the date, will feel. Unmatching after a fair chance is not rude; it is efficient.

If the chat is flowing, suggest a low-pressure next step within a day or two: a phone call, a coffee, a walk. Endless app messaging burns out fast, and chemistry is hard to judge through text alone. A simple 'This is fun, want to continue over coffee sometime this week?' respects both people's time and moves things forward.

The right reply depends on what their profile gives you. If they have a travel photo, try: 'Hey! Okay, I have to ask, where was that mountain photo taken?' If their bio mentions a hobby, try: 'Hey, I saw you are into cooking, what is the one dish you make better than any restaurant?' If their profile is almost empty, an opinion question works best: 'Hey! Quick debate, is a Sunday better spent outdoors or with a film marathon?' Each of these answers their greeting, adds warmth, and gives them a question they can answer in more than one word. Avoid turning the reply into an interview: one question is enough, and a short personal detail of your own makes it feel like a conversation rather than a quiz.

Do not scold them for a lazy opener, even if you are tempted: a message like 'wow, great effort' will kill the chat faster than silence. Do not ask for their number, social media or a date in your first reply, because that escalates a conversation that has barely started. Do not send a long paragraph about yourself either, since a stranger has not yet earned that level of detail and may feel overwhelmed. Avoid double-texting if they take a while to reply, and avoid commenting on their appearance before you have had a real exchange. The goal is to make replying feel easy and safe, and pressure in any form does the opposite, so keep the first few exchanges light, curious and unhurried.

Give the conversation a fair test: two or three exchanges where you ask genuine questions and share something real. Look for signs of effort, such as questions coming back to you, answers longer than a few words, references to things you said earlier, or laughter and teasing. If those appear, the lazy opener was probably nerves, busyness or inexperience, and the chat deserves a chance. If every reply stays flat, arrives hours late with no explanation, and never includes a question, the pattern is the message. At that point, unmatching is reasonable and kind to both of you: it frees your attention for someone who will actually enjoy talking to you, and it avoids a date that would likely feel just as one-sided.

A lazy opener is only fatal if you let it be. Reply with warmth, add one specific question, and give them two exchanges to rise to it. If they do, you have a conversation; if they do not, you have your answer.