Some folks prioritize looking for red flags in their romantic relationships and nowhere else. Unfortunately, someone’s bad qualities don’t just come out if you are trying to get a second date. Making friends with someone who refuses to be normal can be just as bad.

A netizen posted “What are the red flags you notice in women as a “woman”?” and people shared their best examples, from ageism to acting incompetent for attention. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to add your own stories and experiences to the comments down below.

As a woman. Ageism against younger women. My mother and I saw a young woman one day and had polar opposite reactions simultaneously I said “omg look how cute she is!” Mom said “omg her skirt, that’s disgusting” It gave me flashbacks As a little kid older women loved me! I loved the women around me. Then puberty hit and suddenly I was “up to something” or “knew what I was doing” It was like I lost all the women I looked up to, overnight. - and no I didn’t know “what I was doing” tf Noww I get what it was about. Now when I see a young woman enjoying herself all adorned and dressed up, male gaze, pick me energy, just a phase - whatever I love it! I love that she’s enjoying herself and exploring her s**y side, I love watching women be feminine. Watching girls finding their style as they grow. I throw out compliment’s compulsively. Why would I be angry the young woman looks it? Let them live.

- No female friends. If all women hate her, listen to them - Victim in every story. Everyone else was crazy/toxic/jealous - Mean to waitstaff / nice to you - Competes with every girl. Other women are always "pick me" - Never apologizes, only explains. - Keeps score with kindness. Does favors to use as leverage later - Needs male validation to function.

The big one is the same as with men: Ignoring personal boundaries, in any way from unwanted hugs to pushing food/drink I've said no to, to talking over me in conversation. Anyone who uses too much jargon in their speech, too many buzzwords. At best, it signals intellectual conformity/trend-chasing; at worst, they're in a cult or culty ideology.

Let's start with the friend who only appears when something is on fire. Months of silence pass, then suddenly there is a dramatic voice message at midnight asking for advice, a ride to the airport, or a loan of your favorite jacket. Healthy friendships run on give and take, and Psychology Today lists ignored boundaries, backstabbing and mean comments among the clearest signs that a friend is doing more harm than good. If you are the only one keeping the group chat alive, that is not a coincidence. That is a clue.

Then there is the joke that is never really a joke. You know the type. Something cutting slips out, followed by a big grin and a reminder that you really need to learn how to take a joke. Psychologist Marisa Franco, who studies adult friendships, explains that lines like this, along with being told you are too sensitive, often act as a shield against accountability . She shares more phrases worth side eyeing in a column for CNBC , and it makes a great read before your next brunch.

Copycats. They start off by being extremely likeable, mirroring your every trait and seeming very interested in you and your interests; then they start taking up the same hobbies and buying the same things as you. It ends up with them trying to take your place and trying to beat you at "being you". They are out to steal bfs, steal friends and steal your personality and uniqueness. Men just laugh it off saying "It's just a dress, maybe she just likes it too." but it goes way beyond that. This trope is extremely rare in male friendships but I've seen this trait in many women. Acting like a helpless victim all the time, especially in front of men. This is a manipulation tactic used by many women, regardless of age. They do stuff behind your back but you can never openly blame them or speak to other people about their deeds, because they wouldn't believe you. They have the courage to attack you but don't have the courage to be confronted or exposed. They even make you doubt yourself because they're such a victim and such a nice person. Men don't understand this, because this tactic isn't used by other men as no man would want to seem powerless; they also tend to feel even more protective of a woman like this because it makes them feel like a powerful protector.